Because life will never be the same..

I would always think that there has to be something different happening to you in every chapter of your life. OR for some, there's permanently something happening that makes you so stressed or have that extra thing to think about before you sleep every night.

I stumbled upon a post by Yee Ling (ok, I don't "stumble" upon her posts. I follow her blog on NuffnangX and that's where I get my daily blog feeds.)  and I decided to share the softer side of me.

Back to where I started, I've gone through several phases in life and I'm sure that there's more to come (I'm not even 30!). Currently living the chapter of being a full-time mummy which is also equivalent to full-time everything except for bringing in the monthly income.

I would say, the hardest chapter of my life so far is when I lost my father. I've gone through the death of loved ones before my late father went to Heaven but the impact is not as great as losing him.

Why do I say that? I don't love the ones that left before him as much as I loved him? Don't get me wrong.

Let me just tell you a story of what has been playing in my mind for the last 3 years and it's still going on every single day... a little of me bringing you down to memory lane..

A month before my late father was diagnosed with 4th stage stomach cancer...

He received his first tea from his son-in-law..

Walked me down the aisle..

and handed my hand over to another man (my hubby).

A month after our wedding, things took a turn, my dad's scan results came out all bad and he had to undergo surgery to remove a third of his stomach..that day will never stop playing in my head. 

Looking back, my dad went through such a major surgery..his daily routine of being in front of his laptop never broke.

His love for technology, keeping himself updated (he even blogged) kept him going for the next few months.

Then the pain starts when every day you pray for him to be stronger but yet his health just keeps going downhill (up at times but mostly down). The month before he took his last breath was the most painful memory of all. 

A man who has been in my life for 26 years, who has given his best to provide for the family, made us graduates even though he wasn't one ... left... just like that on a Wednesday morning.

I still feel the need to run to him every time I need another opinion. I still wish that he is around to guide me as a parent. I still wish that my dad was alive.

After going through all this sadness and pain, I pray. To keep me strong, to keep me sane, to let God guide me through my life.

I would always end this thought with the happy things that my dad and I shared together. Like doing what he loves together- helping him with his treasure hunts, hunting with him, watching football together in the dark with a huge projector screen (Ya, my dad has a projector and a projector screen at home just for football matches.) and just enjoying some peace and quiet together in our car rides. 

My dad taught me well. He would always say.. "There's no use of having a degree if you are not street wise."

My dad may not be a degree holder but he definitely graduated in being the biggest influencer of my life.

My love for you will never stop growing even though I will only meet you at that beautiful shore.

So here's the softer side of me and what plays in my head daily. If you wish to share your story too, check out this post.